This year, I find my chest is full of time. I have time to make my wreathes. I have time to prepare my summer's worth of making medicines...tinctures, elderberry syrup, and a Native American muscle rub medicine made from the bark of the White Pine. I have time to offer my hands to help a local non-profit get a time-sensitive mailing sent out. I have time to prepare a gift for a local child challenged by her fight against Cancer. I have time to bring on the Christmas tree and enjoy it for days decorated only in lights. There is plenty of time to cook up sweet treats for the holidays and for the first time, I will be joining local folks at a Christmas celebration for the wisdom-seeking seniors of the Western Maine Senior College. After 12 years of living in this area, it is high time I spent the holidays investing my time being present here in this community.
My hope chest is also full of beanie babies. Years ago, when I was working at Abbott Library, my sister became obsessed with the beanie baby frenzy and she came up to visit me in the lunchroom and dumped a big bag of beanie babies on the table. Like a virus, the beanie baby germ spread all around the library. Beanie babies became the prize for the summer reading program. People were collecting them even as investments. I collected a crazy number of them and have kept them locked away in my chest for who knows what. I tried to sell some at my sister's yard sale this summer but every child who was drawn to an animal, I ended up giving them away. I gave away 4 or 5 and was surprised by the joy of making a childs' day. Decided right there and then, that it was time to free the beanie babies. One of my favorite memories of my sister Beth, was of a day we hung out together in Marblehead and bought little rubber animals at Hectors Pup...the local toy store. We were in our 20's but we played with those animals like we were little girls...making them dance and talk...laughing so hard we peed our pants. Beth was a gentle soul who loved animals and babies. Yesterday, I woke up and was writing my morning pages by the window. I was feeling very sad for a child who had spent the night in pain after her last dose of chemo. As I gazed out the window, an unusual winter rainbow appeared over the mountain to the northwest. I felt my sister and the Rainbow bridge appearing between worlds...and I set to work to bring that child some joy. I knew it would make me feel great but quite frankly, I had no idea how great. I delivered a box full of beanie baby angels...each one offering an animal power to help her in her journey to healing her cancer...and each one had a matching teeny beenie to either keep or share. I read her mother's post on Facebook describing the secret box and went to bed feeling DELICIOUS! I also managed to deliver a bag to the Christmas for Kids here in Bethel and a bag full for my friend who's daughter-in-law is a physician for children with cancer. I slipped into bed last night with my heart al a tingle with bells and angels and for one very special night, I experienced the true deep Magic of Christmas...and it wasn't on TV.
This year, I dedicate my Christmas to releasing the wild animals stuffed in my chest, back into the wild where they can share their wild love with children who need a little extra hope this year. The idea makes my heart sing and the actual doing it makes my inner bells ring. Sure...I'm cash poor. But I have a heart full of animals hoping for love and plenty of connections to see that they do. ..time to put it all together and time to savor the gesture. I've crossed a Rainbow Bridge...held hands with the spirit of my sister and made at least one child believe in Magic.
The gift I have given myself? A heart filled with light. I am whole...and present. Halleleuia!
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